Inflicting Pain on our Fellow Travellers – day 5

Although our neighbours were somewhat quieter during the night, at 5.30am (this was 4.30am for those who had forgotten to alter their watches), there is a noise in the corridor. After an hour, being already up, we investigate. Four Spanish teenagers in underpants are playing some sort of game involving distributing all the metal-covered room-service dishes down the corridor. On seeing us they hide round the corner and Chris stands guard whilst I summon security. My body clock allows me to be more tolerant of the early morning escapade than the constant all night door slamming.

On moving from floor to floor we play an ongoing game of ‘Guess the Lift’. There are four lifts together at each end of the ship but there is a communal button to press. When the lift is summoned you have to stand in front of the one that you think will arrive first; I rarely predict correctly. We listen to Helen Smith talking about DNA and then go to give ‘Guest Relations’ fair warning of our need for our confiscated items to be returned in time for tonight. Two men from security stagger forward with our surgeon’s kit and we are allowed it straight away – a whole day in which to run amok with sharp tools! We enter the lift. Another couple enquire what the box contains. Do they really want to know that they are trapped in a lift with people who have access to knives and axes?

Despite a serious accident whilst on shore yesterday, Shauna Hicks bravely gives her ‘Caring for Family Archives’ presentation; excellent once again. This is followed by Rosemary Kopittke on ‘Directories and Almanacks’. After lunch it is time for my ‘’Til Death us do Part’ session, which was well attended, with sixty-five delegates foregoing the sunny deck-side to hear tales of vomit, pox and purging. Other interesting sessions follow: ‘Getting the most out of Google’ from Rosemary Kopittke; Paul Milner on ‘Parish Registers’ and Chris Paton with ‘Irish Records Online’.

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Master Christopher Preparing to Operate

It is another formal night but we are eating informally and are already in C17th costume ready for Chris’ session. None-too-bright British cruise goer to Chris: ‘Are you in National Costume? Where do you come from?’ Chris to none-too-bright cruise goer: ‘Devon’. He didn’t know how to respond! We also overhear muttered comments about the possibility of the Wurzles performing tonight but we take it all in our stride. Many people deprived themselves of dessert in order to flock to seek Master Christopher’s medical advice. To say it was well received is an understatement. We return our weapons of mass destruction and a rather under-sized security officer struggles manfully away with our box. No one has any idea what is meant to be inside (although we have a list, we have not been asked to produce this), nor do they know how many axes and knives have been hidden about our person instead of being returned to the box. The answers is none but we could easily have retained any number. I guess some sort of effort has been made and that is sufficient to prevent people successfully suing the cruise line if we inflict injury on our fellow passengers.

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